Virginia Key Yogos Raisinets and Sno-Caps

My experiment with the Atkins Diet has been mostly a failure in terms of sticking to it. I was inspired to start the diet when I spent all day on Virginia Key eating churrasco! I drank Gatorade a few times, and then yesterday I ate a couple of bagels. Then I totally broke down when I bought my daughter a heart full of yogurt raisins with a Spongebob Squarepants key chain (we watch Spongebob together since when she was a itty bitty girl). She loves keychains, as she attaches them to her book bag. She does not like raisins, and I can admit that I knew I would be eating the candy when I bought it for her. I did. I love raisins. I love Raisinets. I was tempted to literally run down the street to buy a big bag of Raisinets when the yogurt raisins ran out.

Then I found a bag of Yogos in the refrigerator. My daughter does not like Fruity Dots, and my wife had bought a bunch of them so she could take them with her to school in her lunch bag. Yogos are Yogurt covered Fruity Dots. I had eaten three bags of these things when I crashed about ten days ago. They taste great. I love Fruity Dots. However, this time I only ate three dots. Then I actually flushed the rest of the dots down the toilet! I didn't trust myself with Fruity Dots. Talk about an addiction.

The only reason I did not totally freefall again was that there were no SNO-CAPS laying around the house! Sno-Caps, the perfect snack after eating a bag of Raisinets. Delicious little chocolate caps sprinkled heavily with white candy sprinkles. It is crunchy chocolate heaven, and it helps to wash down that raisin after-taste. Sometimes when you eat a whole bag of Raisinets, it takes a box of Sno-Caps to keep it down. Just thinking and writing about Raisinets and Sno-Caps gets me excited. Believe it or not, there is a Nestle website which has lots of recipes for weird snacks using Raisnets, Sno-Caps, Goobers, and some of their other heart-clogging, fattening candy products (like pouring a box of Raisinets or Sno-Caps on your hot buttered popcorn when you go to the movie theater!!).

I can honestly say that if the world's prettiest models were bathing nude on South Beach (Ocean Drive), and there was a candy company giving away Raisinets and/or Sno-Caps as a promotion on Ocean Drive, I know I would be standing in line for Sno-Caps. Maybe that's wrong, but I love Sno Caps and I can afford them! For all of the above reasons, I have concluded that Yogos, Raisinets, and Sno-Caps (Goobers too) are officially certified as Diet Enemies (Diet Enemy #12)! Banned From Consumption (BFC). Never to stick to and/or melt on my fingers again!

Now that I have finished day-dreaming about candy, I can let you know that I have been a pretty good dieter, mostly because I was getting a Colonoscopy . Since my mom had colon cancer, I figured I might as well get one done slightly before the target age of 50. It turned up clear except for a small polyp, that the doctor removed. The doctor is a very nice person (and his staff is outstanding), and he and his staff made it a very easy and pain-free process. I had heard that these procedures are very painful, but they aren't. I am glad to report that my doctor never did the famous hand exam. However, it is kind of embarassing that a whole bunch of nurses have seen my posterior, but I guess most butts look the same, so hopefully that won't be the side of me they remember the most if I see them again. Before the procedure, I mostly fasted for two days, drinking a lot of water and sugar-free jello. I am back down to 270 lbs. That is only three pounds over my lowest weight this month. I have a few days left to drop some pounds for January, so I will do it. I am going to try harder to actually stick with the Atkins Diet. I can do it, as long as I don't see any bread or chocolate covered candy.

I may even head to South Beach today for some inspiration. Back in the old days, when I was not obese, I used to visit strip clubs and topless beaches regularly with my buddies. At some point I took what most people would consider to be a more religious, family-oriented, or moral approach to life. I also gained a lot of weight. Is morality and obesity connected? Am I suffering from Panda Syndrome? On the other hand, maybe I will visit Flamingo Gardens. It is a fun place where a family can have a good time.

Changing Strategy

Well, I am not sure what happened, but I hit a brick wall about ten days ago.

Frustration, physical pain and injury, depression? Whatever it was, the floor just dropped out. I felt like I was going to freefall to hell, and end up gaining tons of weight. My will power vanished overnight. It was gone.

So I had to shake things up a bit. Take a different tact on things. I went to a birthday party on Sunday and ate tons of great barbecue churasco beef, sausages, and even chicken. That's when it hit me. Inspiration. I decided that the best way to circle the wagons and turn a total collosal failure into something positive was to launch into the Atkin's Diet.

I have done it before, and lost about 22 lbs. on it back around 1994. But Atkins is a lot harder than just eating meat and green vegetables.

You can't have any carbs at all (only 20 grams per day during the two week Induction phase). That means really sticking to a lot of foods that get boring very quickly when you can't eat them with rice, bread, noodles, potatos, etc. I don't even like beef that much except in hamburger, and how many times can I eat hamburgers without the buns?? YUCK.

But desperate people grasp at straws, so I did a quick internet search and found out the basics of Atkins (I had given the book away a long time ago). Of course, I had already chugged some chocolate milk before I realized it was NOT part of the Atkins Diet (DUH!). However, in spite of my natural instinct to screw up any diet plan, I have pretty much been sticking to it.

I had a couple of chicken breasts this afternoon, and I have been stocking up on the cheese sticks and thin-sliced turkey. How long before I crack? Can I actually stick to Atkins long enough to drop under 250 lbs.? By Sunday I was at 279 (up 12 lbs. from the previous low of 267 lbs.). I did not weigh myself after the birthday party, but I had a doctor's appointment yesterday and they clocked me in at 285 lbs. with my clothes on.

Can Atkins get me back on track? I have posted another old favorite of mine, the band Nazareth singing Miss Misery; a song that could be about love, drugs, alcohol, food, or anything else that you can be addicted to and love to death. What do you think? (Update: Unfortunately, the lawyers at Viacom International had YouTube.com remove this 33 year old video which was from Nazareth's LP Hair of the Dog. Sorry!)

Twisted Anxiety

What a week it has been. Talk about a total collapse. I was pushing myself harder at the gym, so the cracked molar that had not bothered me for nearly a year (which needs a root canal) has been throbbing for days. My shoulder hurts, my arm is sore. I have an appointment with an Orthopedic surgeon in ten days, hopefully he will order an MRI and we'll see if there is any solution to all this.

The bottom line is that when I push myself all my flaws and weaknesses come out. It is depressing. I am wondering if this is the effects of getting older? Young women call me sir. It sucks.

I had a great interview for a great job last week, the lady who interviewed me said she wanted me to meet the other boss this week, and I never heard from her again. I did take a test for another job that will pay more than my current job.

So between pain, chronic injuries, not getting called back for another interview; and feeling old; it has been like a week of anxiety from hell.

I have not felt so much out of control anxiety in a long time. I was going to go to an OA meeting and I never did. I have been ravenously hungry every waking moment. I weighed 278 this morning, a gain of eleven pounds over last week. I have been eating boxes of cereal, cookies, candy, protein bars, and even soda. I thought I would never feel like this again. I thought I had made a lot of progress in my attitude and mental discipline. However, the negativity has really enveloped me this week. Going to the gym just makes the pain in the tooth more acute. The Insurance company did not want to assign a dentist to me until March, I still don't have an appointment, and the regular dentist has to refer me to an endodontist, so it will be another month of pain.

Then, on the other hand, what is pain? Is it all in my mind? Should I just be able to block it out? The pracitioners of eastern philosophies such as zen and some of the martial arts can use their minds to block pain. Supposedly there are people who undergo surgery without anesthesia because they can totally relax and block all pain. So is my pain just another example of mental weakness? Should I be depressed that I am mentally and physically weak? Should I be pissed off? Can anger push me through pain? Can I get angry instead of just sad? Why am I afflicted with so much wimpitidude?

Should I take a cue from the video? Can I find my way back, or am I lost forever, like some of the other MIA weight-loss bloggers? Will I be back at 300 lbs. in another week or two? Blimping towards 350?? Should I give up now?

Daily Weigh-Ins

Some diet books and so-called experts say that you should only weigh yourself once a week. I like to weigh-in several times a week, sometimes every day. Check the video if you want one good reason why.

The main reason is acknowledging that most overweight people are addicted to food. I know I am.

The second reason is Denial. It is easy for any fat person to fall off the dieting wagon and then stay off for a few days, then a week or two. Then that person weighs herself after a a few food binges and suddenly there is a ten or twenty pound weight gain.

The third reason is that it is easy to ignore reality if you do not confront it every day. A reality check helps me cut through the BS that I tend to believe when it comes to dieting.

The fourth reason is that if you are aware of how food affects your weight, it reinforces in your mind that some foods will have a negative effect, and others will not. It also gives you positive affirmation when you do a good job on your diet plan, and lose weight. While some people (including me) get upset that the weight won't come off after several days of strict dieting, the reality is that if you keep the food out of your mouth, sooner or later you are going to drop some pounds (or kilos).

I could probably think of other reasons to weigh-in frequently, but these are the ones that come to mind. I try to weigh myself in the mornings only, and sometimes I skip a day or two if I think it is going to be depressing (and not positive). However, I don't let things get out of control.

Weight is about control. You have to control your impulses, your Denial, your BS, and your fears, anxiety, etc. You must be in control of your mouth, your life, your physical fitness, etc. So for me, the weigh-in is about control. I am in control of my weight, and I am not afraid of the scale.

Of course, what works for me does not necessarily work for everyone, so you should follow your own instincts when it comes to positively motivating yourself to lose weight (or maintain weight). So good luck to everyone who is working on weight loss, and keep fighting forward. If you fall down, keep getting up. This is a war that can only be won with patience, determination, and persistence.

267.8 Crackerbox Palace

Lost another pound today. Mostly drinking a lot of water, and eating protein bars with only one main meal. Today it was lasagna which my Mom made. It was great, and I had two helpings. I don't expect to lose much weight tomorrow, but that will be another day. Today I cracked the nut.

I went to a very good job interview that lasted over an hour. It looks like it would be a good job. I was told that I would be called next week for a meeting with the partners. The pay that was mentioned was a bit low for the position, about $10-12 per hour (lots of responsibility, very little job security)? I am making $8.50 now at the pharmacy, but would earn $10 an hour there once I get promoted to supervisor (very little responsibility, lots of job security). What should I do?

I went to see my new boss at the Job #2-Site #2 (the store that I am transferring to). She indicated there was lots of potential there for me. I am starting tonight there, but I will still work at the other store (Job #2-Site #1) for at least another week. Maybe I can earn some overtime?

Anyhow, it was a day of meeting new bosses, and I probably should post The Who video (Won't Get Fooled Again), but I feel more positive, check out the video!

Do you remember this song? It is about ten years later than the Bee Gees' Message song. I saw it when I was about 14 years old, back in 1977 or so. I have always liked this tune. George Harrison was a cool guy, and he was a humble and spiritual person too.

268.8 Hold On

I found this video, and it is a great song that I had not heard in a long time. Do you like it? Do you remember it (are you old enough?)? (Update: The video was Hold On by The Bee Gees. Unfortunately the record company had the video pulled from YouTube, sorry)

I am down to 268 lbs. Not much of a loss, but because I have not been blimping up, my body has been fighting against losing weight. I usually try Carb Loading, but gaining five or ten pounds in order to lose twelve is stressful. On the other hand, watching the scale stand still every day in spite of how little I am eating (for me) is also stressful.

I guess dieting is pretty stressful no matter what approach you want to take. I am thinking of heading back to the Overeaters Anonymous meetings just to give it another shot. New year, new perspective??

How is everyone else doing??

Fat Man 2007--Gratitude

I was thinking that the beginning of the year might be a good time to be grateful. I was going to tag some bloggers, but if you think you have something to be grateful about, please tag yourself and post your own list of gratitude! These are some of the things that I am grateful for:
1) Family (including the ones that have passed on already, and who gave me so much love and guidance)
2) Health (thank God for it)
3) Job (all of them)
4) Home (there's no place like it)
5) my dog (they don't talk back, easy to impress, always happy to see you)
6) Gym membership (thank God for gyms!)
7) bicycle (another way to burn fat)
8) friends
9) music, computer/internet
10) faith in God, myself, other people
11) discipline and the ability to keep getting up off the ground.

That's what I can think of in a minute or less. As they say at the Oscars, I'm sure I have left out some important people, sorry!

Fat Man 2007--A New Year, new title for the blog. What do you think? Check out my new photo in the profile, and this old Jethro Tull video (Fat Man).

Xenadrine EFX, Cortislim, Weight Smart, TrimSpa Fined for Fraud

WASHINGTON (AP) - The Federal Trade Commission on Thursday fined the marketers of four weight loss pills $25 million for making false advertising claims ranging from rapid weight loss to reducing the risk of cancer.
FTC Chairman Deborah Platt Majoras said the products would remain on store shelves, but that the companies would have to stop making the false claims. "What we challenge is the marketing of the claims," she said. "The marketers are required to back up the claims with the science and if they can't do that they can't make the claim. But we don't ban the products from the shelves."

The FTC investigated a variety of claims made, including rapid weight loss and reduction in the risk of osteoporosis, Alzheimer's and even cancer, Majoras noted. Fines were levied against marketers of Xenadrine EFX, One A Day Weight Smart, CortiSlim and TrimSpa.

Majoras said that some of the money paid as civil fines would be returned to consumers. "We always try to get money back when consumers have been deceived," she said. "In this instance I'm pleased to say that I believe we're going to get millions back from some of these products to be able to return it to consumers."

The largest fine was levied against two marketers of Xenadrine EFX, made by New Jersey-based Nutraquest, Inc., formerly known as Cytodyne Technologies. The marketers will pay at least $8 million and as much as $12.8 million. A federal lawsuit has been filed in Newark, N.J.

A $12 million fine was assessed against seven marketers of CortiSlim and CortiStress. The marketers were identified as Window Rock Health Laboratories, based in Brea, Calif.

The Bayer Corporation, based in Morristown, N.J., will pay a $3.2 million civil penalty to settle the claims. TrimSpa, based in Whippany, N.J., will pay $1.5 million.

Majoras cautioned the estimated 70 million Americans trying to lose weight not to buy these pills. "You're not going to find weight loss in a bottle of pills," she said.

She said the FTC investigation found that the marketers of Xenadrine had a study that said those who took a placebo actually lost more weight than those taking the pill. "They not only didn't have studies to support the claim, they actually had a study that went the other way," she said.

Some of the products marketed their claims through infomercials or celebrity endorsements. Anna Nicole Smith, for example, has endorsed TrimSpa. "Testimonials from individuals are not a substitute for science," Majoras said. "And that's what Americans need to understand."

269.0 Happy New Year Homies!

I lost a little over a pound since yesterday. Down to 269.0, which means that I can hit 265 by Saturday if I really try hard.

I spent New Year's Eve working the overnight shift at my job. All my four alternating night shift supervisors are around twenty years old. They spend the early part of every night talking on their cellphones and listening to rap and hip-hop music on their I-Pods. When their homies come by, they disappear into the storage room or go outside for awhile. Working with four supervisors (too many chiefs and not enough Indians?) who were born after I graduated from college is a bit of a pain in the ass. I guess I am finding out what the Generation Gap means?

Anyhow, New Year's arrived as I was selling cigarettes to an obese middle-aged woman with big baggy breasts who did not seem very happy when I told her "Happy New Year." I wondered why such a fat woman was buying cigarettes, but I guess death cannot arrive quickly enough for her? I used to be more obese than that lady, and I used to smoke too. What was I thinking at the time? I recall there was always a little voice in my head saying "You're killing yourself!" But the stronger, more powerful voice was called Denial, which would comfort me with a candy bar and a cigarette and tell me that "Everything is OK."

I know that nicotine high very well. Spending all night around cigarettes has occasionally given me the nicotine cravings. But I know how people that smoke stink of cigarettes, and when you work with smokers they have to take a smoking break every half hour which means that they do a lot less work than non-smokers. Not surprisingly, all of my overnight supervisors are smokers.

My wife, daughter, and mom dropped by at about 2:50 a.m. to say hello. The supervisor who was in charge at that moment was annoyed that I wanted a break. After some prodding, I was able to spend a few minutes with my family. It was heartwarming to see my family. My daughter was tired, and my mother was happy. I wanted to quit my job and go home with them. At least they were able to celebrate New Year's Eve with family. My mother's birthday was/is on December 31st, so they cut her birthday cake while I was working (it is the family tradition to cut it at midnight, even though that is technically the day after her birthday!). I had spent some time with her in the afternoon and gave her two gifts, and some hugs.

My homies don't like me to take my break (which is deducted from my pay whether I take it or not) because then one of them has to go on the register and take care of the customers. I try to be accomodating to my homies, as there isn't much to do anyway except go to the restroom and the water fountain.

Believe it or not, during the overnight shift we get a lot of homeless bums and really scuzzy types who just buy beer and/or cigarettes. The bums usually smell pretty rank (sometimes like old vomit, urine, or feces), they take forever to pay (with pennies, dimes, and nickels) and their coins are often sticky. Sometimes I talk to these guys, and they claim they prefer to live on the streets because they get robbed and beaten by other bums at the homeless shelters. Some of them ride the Metrorail trains all night long, usually with a six pack of beer.

After I spent a few minutes with my family (New Year's Eve), a very nice born-again Christian lady gave me some DVD about Jesus a bit later. She had been to the store about a month ago and said that she had bought the DVD just for me (I was impressed). She was very nice, kind, and humble, and not preaching to me about anything. Her thoughtfulness was touching. Meeting a nice person like that in the middle of the night shift was refreshing! Every day I am grateful to meet nice people almost anywhere that I go. The world is full of nice people, and we all need to be grateful when we find them. There is lots of love and fellowship in the world. Sometimes the road can be rocky, but if you follow a good path and are nice to others, you will find nice people in your life!

270.4 Lost In Cyberspace!

Happy New Year! I lost two pounds in December, which is not much but it is better than gaining weight. This year I went from 327 lbs. in January to 270, for a total loss of 57 pounds in 2006. In 2005, I dropped from 371 to 327, for a loss of 44 pounds in 2005 (when I had surgery). In 2004, I lost 46 pounds (417 to 371). Well, the new year is here, and it is time to lose more weight and keep it off.

Thanks to some pop-up program that I opened on some website or e-mail, my computer went haywire around December 20th, and so I went and bought Norton Anti-Virus and that made it worse. The Symantec website has problems authenticating its programs, and Norton would not run unless authenticated. Removing Norton was a major hassle, and I ended up going to the root directories to delete Norton files and somehow I managed to delete some shared files and thus ended up with various other software that did not work anymore. But at least I got the pop-up software and Norton removed, and I am using Grisoft AVG, which does not interfere with other programs the way Norton Anti-Virus seems to do (and the Grisoft website authenticated the software without any problems).

I also got Registry Mechanic, which helped straigten out some other messes, and I downloaded several patches from Microsoft, and did a lot of other tinkering in order to undue the tinkering that I did which messed up my computer. So that's where I have been for the past three weeks.

I was determined that I was not going to gain weight in December, though I was up to 281 around Christmas. I am down to 270.4 as of December 31. Part of the reason I jump up about ten pounds after every major drop has to do with the theory of Carb Loading. When I hit some new valleys, I try to stablize at that weight.

The body usually has a built-in defense against too much weight loss, and it slows down your metabolism to fight what it sees as starvation. The best way (which is the most fun) to screw up the body's internal computer is by Carb Loading. You drop a lot of weight, then eat anything for a day or two and blimp back up temporarily. Then you go back to eating less until you drop past the previous low. I am eating a lot of protein bars and protein shakes as meal substitutes.

I am also eating whenever I am hungry. Hunger is what derails any diet plan, so if you get hungry, you need to eat something that is on your diet. Otherwise, the longer you stay hungry, the better the odds that you will end up with a Wendy's Burger dripping grease out of the side of your mouth. So eating protein bars and protein shakes around six or seven times a day is the best way that I know to avoid eating bad foods out of hunger. I wanted to be at 265 or less by the end of the year, but that did not happen.

I went to the gym Saturday morning (December 16) and did eighteen sets of Lat Pulldowns. I need to remember to buy gym gloves, as my hands are getting those little callouses at every knuckle, and that makes it painful to lift weights if you are allergic to pain like I am. No pain, no gain, but I want my pain to be constructive. I did about 9 sets of Bench Press (on a machine) after Job #1 and before Job #2.

Sunday (12/17) I concentrated on 10 sets of Shrugs at night before I went to work at Job #2. My back was hurting when I was walking, and getting out of bed after Job #2 in order to go to Job #1 is painful. What does not kill you can only make you stronger.

Monday I did about twelve sets of Hammer curls with low weights. I am doing 1/3 curls concentrating on different parts of the curling motion (top of the biceps, middle of the curl, and the elbow movement). Am I bullshitting myself? I think I have identified pretty clearly the muscles in my arm, and I am trying to concentrate all the action on the main head of the biceps, which is the one that is torn in my right arm. I do the same exercises for my left arm, with the same weights. Can my biceps ever grow back to normal? I don't want to bore you with my daily exercise routine, but I hope that there is someone out in cyberland who could learn something from it or hopefully get motivated to some degree. (Update: 3/01/07: Do you like The Who's Behind Blue Eyes? Well I did, and had posted it here but it was removed from YouTube.com so the video that went with this post is gone. Play it on your stereo if you really want to get the full feeling (drum roll please).)