Pan Cubano

Weekly Weight Loss Winner: This past week looked like a tough week for the bloggers. Several have noted weight gains. I was nearly down to under 280 and then ate a big loaf of Cuban bread and gained like six pounds in a day. It was heartbreaking. I cried so hard that I shit my pants. Instead of blowing by everyone like I usually do because I don't take notes at each blog and then I forget who did what and when; this week I took out my pad and wrote down intensive notes. That is how organized I am. Give me a merit star. Nona at 55KGs lost eleven pounds over the course of a trip to Vienna with her boyfriend! Yes, they had the Do Not Disturb sign on their room all the time. Great sex beats great dieting every time. Put the two together and you can lose a lot of weight!! Abba has been gaining weight uncontrollably and will soon tip over the scales at 300 lbs. if she does not take charge of herself. I am not sure what is happening in her life, but it must be a lot of stress. Hope you can get it together Abba. Texas Gal has been adding on the pounds too. Higher water intake is the key to her diet in the next few weeks. When you are gaining weight, sometimes focusing on one thing that can help you stop the gain is what it takes. Do it!! Stop the Gain!! Celtic Girl gained a massive 15 pounds. That is like six months of weight loss down the drain. I am very sorry CG. I hope you are not giving up...! I am very sad that you have taken this big step back, but I know you can rebound from it. Please do it! Become the Blobinator! Burn that fat up!! Christine gained some weight and has started a 12 week weight loss challenge for the other bloggers to join up. I would join, but the last time I did a weight loss challenge I gained ten pounds. The stress of competing against others makes me break out in cold sweats! Chris H has been busy beating up some chicks that messed with her over at her blog, and I did not see if she lost any weight, but she had like 80 comments per post. I missed the bitch-slapping incident but it sounds like it was fun!! You Go Chris! Put them witches in line. Lay down the law! Arlene fell off her wagon again and has apparently edged even closer to going back over 200? Patty has been through a lot of stress with funerals and visiting doctors, and I hope she is OK and gets back to it soon. Sayre is working out a lot with her brother, but she gained 2.6 pounds last week. That is how the scale can de-motivate anyone. I hate scales, and as soon as I reach my goal weight and become a billionaire, I am going to buy up all the companies that make scales and close them down. Sharron has slipped too. Part of it is that her husband is getting gigantic and has no interest in dieting. Another part of it is that she does not want to walk outside because of the motherf*cking flies!!! Damn, what a lame excuse. There are gnats and those little damn flies and mosquitoes and other buzzing bastards here in Florida, and I have made a point of walking the damn dog nearly every night just so I can say I went for a walk. That walk might be what is keeping me from keeling over dead of a heart attack. Am I going to let some little shit-fly stop me?? HELL NO. Wanna-B-Slim gained 1.1 kilos which is like six months of dieting for her. Get pissed off and stop slacking. All that progress cannot be sabotaged like this. Willowwishesless lost 2 kilos (4.4 lbs) last week, but even though we were supposed to be trading blog-links, I am not on hers, so she is gone from this one (DQed). When someone tells you to link them and they don't link you, it is not a big deal, but it kind of frosts my ass. Remember what Drill Instructor R. Lee Ermey said about the "reach-around" being common courtesy? Anyhow, Willow is doing great, and this week she lost even more weight! Good for you! On a positive note, Nita lost two pounds! Captain Jeff lost three pounds! Joey has not posted in a month, I miss his food reviews... Mark started a dieting website but never posts about his own diet. Not sure if he ever reached his goal weight. Mick has not even posted about his weight for weeks. He has been travelling all over the USA and then came home and was made repugnant and given a hefty salary increase so he can stay on til the last day when the factory closes down. He was given the keys and has to turn out the lights and close the gates every night. It is a tough job, but Mick has been working there for 42 years, ever since he finished his tour of duty in 'Nam where he was in British Special Forces. This week's Star Champion of Weight Loss is LYN!!! She lost 1.5 kilos the hard way (no sex) and that is like 3.3 pounds. No Twinkies for Lyn. She puts her pants on one leg at a time like everyone else, but she takes no prisoners in the kitchen. Cookies, candies, brownies, all go into the garbage. No macca (Mc Donalds), no Burger Queen. Just raw vegetables and sawdust. Congratulations to everyone that lost weight (Nona, Lyn, Captain Jeff, Nita) and anyone else that I missed.

I love bread. I had not eaten Cuban Bread (Pan Cubano) in a couple of months. The main reason that I avoid Pan Cubano is because it is sold in loaves (see photo), and I usually will eat the whole loaf. Cuban Bread is similar to French Bread, except it is less crusty and the inner bread dough is soft and tender. I love it toasted with butter, or with tuna fish salad. Back when I was mega-obese, I would buy two loaves. One to eat on the drive from the bakery to the house, and then I would eat whatever was left of the other loaf after giving the family a couple of hours to have breakfast, etc. Not surprisingly, today was no different. I did not buy two loaves, but since my family has jumped on the healthy-eating bandwagon, nobody wanted any bread. So I got to eat the whole loaf. Because I felt guilty about it, I did not eat anything else the whole day, just water. Bread and water. At some point as I was watching the Miami Dolphins get trashed by the Oakland Raiders, I started feeling queesy. I went to the restroom and I knew that I had the squirts really bad. So bad that as I was pulling down my underwear the goo squirted out. Most of it went into the bowl. I will spare the rest of the details... I relate this cautionary tale just so that all of you can learn from my mistakes. Don't eat a whole loaf of bread. The aftermath is not a pretty sight.
This is a loaf of bread. Supposedly two ounces has only 134 calories. Therefore a whole 16 ounce loaf should only have 2,144 calories. People in prison would lose weight eating bread and water back in the vintage 1930s movies. James Cagney and Humphrey Bogart got skinny on bread rations. Remember Papillon with Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman? They were eating bread all the time and they could barely survive.

This is a loaf too. Any questions?