Hot Coffee-n-Chicks

Today I was at the local cafeteria getting a cafe cubano. Cuban coffee is much thicker than any European espresso, and it has a fuller taste. You can really taste the caffeine. You can feel your brain cells speeding up and your heart starts beating faster. Cafe cubano is ten times stronger than espresso. When it is as thick as ink, then it is really good. Some places make a watery version of cafe cubano that is not that powerful. If you order a colada you get about six ounces for about a dollar. Anyhow, I had been buying my cafe at this little bakery near the gym that I go to. All the servers are friendly older ladies. Unfortunately, some of my favorite friendly waitresses have moved on to other jobs (or retired?), and now most of the waitresses at the little bakery are younger, dumpy-looking, and unhappy. They never say hello and they look right through me when they are taking my order and serving me. So I walked an extra block to this other cafeteria which has food by the pound, fresh fruits, fruit juices made on the spot, etc. Here the waitresses all have tight outfits and some amazing cleavage. Even though they are all over thirty, it is amazing to see them moving around. I had not been here before. The waitress that served me looked like she had some enhancements to her body, as she was close to forty and yet rock-hard. She smiled at me and gave me my cafe, and as I walked away I noticed that I was literally bouncing. It wasn't the caffeine that had me bouncing away, it was the waitress. That got me thinking about the Art of Waitressing, and so I diverted the time that I might have spent getting into trouble into preparing this tribute to The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of Waitresses. Since several people complained about the pictorial of Fat Girls, here I am trying to redeem myself (but maybe not succeeding?). Check them out and then vote on your favorite and/or least favorite waitresses!

Vintage and/or Older Waitresses: These are those (usually) friendly mature ladies that can either give you a very warm homey feeling (like if your dear old Mom was serving you at home), or they can be shrill and annoying.

OW#1- Do you remember Nancy Walker? She played Rosie, the annoying, know-it-all waitress who was always spilling things and carried around a roll of Bounty towels. She was also in a 1970s TV series called McMillan and Wife, where she played Rock Hudson's maid. Rock Hudson played the role of a Police Commissioner who solved crimes on an alternating schedule with Colombo (Peter Falk), McCloud (Dennis Weaver), and Banacek (George Peppard). Do you like a bossy waitress? For example, if you order steak would you like her to tell you that the meatloaf is better? Sometimes a waitress can help you make better selections. On the other hand, if you are in the kind of diner where you need to watch out for food poisoning, then maybe it is time to find a new place to dine.

Here is Nancy Walker when she was much younger, in the 1940s.


OW#2- This is a photo from the 1940s or 1950s. That waitress (is it Ethel Merman) sure has a sour look on her face. I imagine that waitressing has probably been a tough job since the beginning of time.


OW#3- This is a waitress serving coffee at a restaurant in France. Those Frenchies sure know about fine dining.


OW#4- She looks like the modern version of a bossy waitress. At least she is having fun.

OW#5- Remember Chock-Full-O-Nuts coffee shops? They used to have waitresses that dressed like this. Those were pretty good places for breakfast. I am not sure if they exist anymore. IHOP (International House of Pancakes) and Denny's are probably the major chains in the USA that have a breakfast/coffee menu. I don't think the Starbucks waitresses have a uniform, but I don't remember (do they have green outfits?).


OW#6- She looks like a friendly granny.

Unfriendly, Unhappy, Tired, and/or Bitchy Waitresses: Sometimes a hard day can break a person down. Some folks get a job out of necessity and don't want to do it and don't like dealing with people. Just like every other job or profession, some people excel and some people burn out. These are the waitresses that I would not want serving me. Do you like them? Agree or disagree? Post your comment and let the world know!


UW #1- Dumpy and unhappy? Some waitresses look like that. I guess they have many problems and worries (and very little income? Perhaps no health insurance?). Do sad looking servers bring you down?


UW#2- OK, when your waitress looks like she would like to fight you more than serve you that is not a good sign (though I think the lady in this photo is smiling?).

UW#3- It is not a good sign if your waitress looks like she just smelled an egg fart. Especially if she has that look on her face when she is talking to you. Is this her smile or her frownie-face?


UW# 4- Many young waitresses are aspiring models and/or actresses and/or members of a musical band. If your waitress is wearing her panties out and she thinks she is too cool for her job, is it a good time to ask for another server? Don't ask me why, but whenever I see a woman who has her panties noticeably sticking out over her jeans/dress I presume that she is grungy and unclean. What do you think?


UW#5- This one is easier. If your waitress looks like she wants to kill you, then you might not want to know what's in the "special sauce" on your burger.


UW#6- Some restaurants are really busy, and if you go during their peak hours, the staff can look overworked. If your waitress looks tired and sullen, is it time to ask for somebody else?


UW #7- Then there are the waitresses that are learning or just really bad. They get your order wrong, they get the wrong side dishes, they get the drinks wrong, and then they spill the food all over your mother-in-law on the day you are going to ask her for a big loan. OOPS!

The Great Waitresses! These are the ladies that make even an overcooked burger taste like filet mignon because they are like a bright ray of sunshine and they have a beaming smile and a positive attitude! I tip these ladies double or triple because they make any meal twice as good as it really was.


GW#1-That friendly smile makes any meal taste better!


GW#2- What a warm, friendly smile.

GW#3- Her smile says that she is going to give her best effort to make her customers feel special.

GW # 4- The beer hall waitresses in Germany are amazing. Each one of those mugs holds a liter of beer. This waitress has her hands taped up like a pro athlete (and she has a really friendly smile!).


GW #5- This one looks a bit like Annette Funicello (The Mouseketeers, Beach Blanket Bingo, etc.).

GW #6- Sometimes a skimpy outfit can make that friendly smile look a lot brighter!

GW#7- Those trays are heavy. I bet a waitress could probably lift heavy at the gym too.

GW# 8- Another friendly face. Who would you like to see serving your meal? A happy waitress or a mean, unhappy one? Vote on the sidebar for your favorite waitresses!

Exploitation? Someone commented on the Fat Girls pictorial that I was exploiting the people in the photos and making fun of them. Well, every day, every where you go, people look at you and they judge you. If you provide any kind of service, people also compare the level of service that they received from you to what they received from other people. You can't appreciate the good if not for the bad. Anyhow, don't expect a pictorial on waiters, as I avoid them in general. I like being served by women. They are prettier and nicer.